"i'll never..."

Before becoming a mom I said things like...

"I'll never allow my kids to watch cartoons all day long"

 or count on Dora the Explorer to 'babysit' so I can have a break.

That was before I experienced complete exhaustion after having my third child.

I vowed to feed my kids healthy food and not permit McDonald's French Fries to become a favorite.

Just the other day I found myself preparing frosting-filled graham crackers just so I could see their excitement when I brought out their lunch plates.

I promised never to raise my voice.

Even if I'd spent the entire morning scrubbing crayon off the couch cushion just to walk in to the next room to find a carpet drenched in two year old urine. Not even then!

I'll never use my shirt or (even worse) my own hand as a snot rag;

Or open a bag of oreos in the grocery store just to keep my kids content in the cart until I finish shopping;

Or not bother to change them out of their cereal-stained pajamas before running errands all morning long. 

I'll never be that kind of mom. 

Ha!

A few days ago I took Jonny on a bike ride around our complex. We decided to stop at the playground before heading home. When we arrived I joined another mom on the bench who was watching her son play on the slides. Several other kids were already climbing the plastic toys and running around on the grass.  It wasn't five minutes later that this mom's boy got a little too aggressive and started pushing Jonny down the slide without consent. He did it repeatedly. And not just with Jonny, but any kid that tried to slide down his slide got a good shove. Every time this happened I'd glance over at the mom who was unresponsive. Instead she turned to me and began explaining that they had just returned from their third visit to the pediatrician's office to figure out the type of sickness her kid had. She told me she'd been up the last several nights with him cleaning up his vomit. While she talked I couldn't help but hear her son coughing and sniffling in the background, probably wiping his snot on the same equipment all the kids were playing on. 

My first reaction: I was annoyed.  

I would NEVER let my child push another kid around like that. 

And I definitely would NEVER expose other children to my child if he was that sick.

We left the playground.

Later that afternoon I got to thinking about the mom on the bench. I wish I would have handled things differently. Instead of worrying about my son getting pushed around or inheriting her son's germs, I should have helped out a fellow mom who might have been having the hardest day of her mom life. She was probably so exhausted and perhaps explaining her situation to me as a cry for help. I should have been more helpful.

I realize that when you are a mom, the word 'never' is a risky one to use. We do not know the amount (or lack of I should say) sleep each mom is getting. We have no idea how many sibling fights have had to be broken up, how many time-out sessions have had to be enforced, or how many dirty diapers have had to be changed. We are often oblivious to the hardships each mom is encountering daily. 

One thing is for sure, as moms we should support, encourage, and help each other become the best moms possible. 

If there is one 'never' I should feel comfortable using it is this:

I will NEVER judge another fellow mom. 

We're in this together.