Lessons Learned from my Previous Pregnancy

* Always leave a stash of soda crackers and fruit snacks on the night stand near the bed to avoid 4 am runs to the toilet. * When I feel like I'm about to 'toss my cookies', first response should be: don't move!(This really works for me.) * Milk the, "It's because I'm pregnant" excuse for all it's worth. * Buy the expensive, soft toilet paper for all those hundreds of daily bathroom trips. * Make sure to stretch before going to bed and after waking up; unless I'm going for the 'granny with a broken hip' look. * When someone starts to describe a delivery horror story, excuse myself immediately. * Do not attempt cartwheels or roundoffs when eight months pregnant. * If I'm swimming in a lake while 8 months pregnant and start to run out of breath and panic because I think I might drown, remember that I've got the best buoy attached to my belly. I can float my way back to shore. * Change my look every few months (whether by haristyle, makeup, or wardrobe) in order to distract me from the weight gain. * Do not discuss baby names with people until a decision has been made. (Especially if you already have a son named Jonny and would love to have another little boy named Cash.) * If the Epidural isn't working like it should, it's all right to say something. * Make it clear to the nurses that I DO NOT want a mirror within 10 feet of me during labor. * When the nurse tells you "You're hyperventalating," that doesn't mean breathe heavier and faster. * When the doctor says that I will feel a little pressure, what he really means is, what I'm about to feel is A LOT OF PAIN! * After baby arrives, there is no rush in jumping back in to reality. It's alright to miss more than one Sunday of church. (even if you're the Relief Society President, right Misti?) * Enjoy the experience and remember that from it comes a miracle and blessing that is indescribable.